Yes, it’s been a while. No excuses but here’s what’s gone on around here over the past few weeks:

1. My ISP has pulled some major changes in the way I upload entries here. Uploading takes five times as long and I have to delete everything first before I can update. Way back-asswards if you ask me. After being with this company six years or so, count me very unhappy.

2. A new writer friend has been diagnosed with colon cancer. He’ll be 45 next month and hopefully still will celebrate his birthday if his surgery goes well tomorrow morning. Go get checked, now. Yes, I’m talking to YOU.

3. Got all 216 retaining blocks laid in our backyard before May 1st. Haven’t started on the 113 cobblestone patio blocks yet due to the weather. Also spread twenty-some bags of color enhanced bark mulch after a day of transplanting, moving, and digging out shrubs that needed attention. Our backyard looks fabulous.

4. Have regained five pounds (now at 155 lbs). The extra half inch diameter my biceps now sport may or may not be partly to blame. Regardless, I'm now back on Phase One of the South Beach diet (some daily variances may occur) as is WS who gained back about the same.

5. Had our front yard publicly admired by some neighbors who nearly 9 years ago told us gardening and yard work was for anal people who thought their shit didn’t stink. I dunno, I guess my floral scent was just luck of the draw…

6. Am being courted by Competition Boy and Drill Sergeant Dave to return to the original sports car club I was a member of back in 2002-2004 (not to be confused with The Monkey Club) before leaving due to too much drama (of which The Monkey Club are world record holders of). Why would I ever consider returning or at least hanging out with these people again, especially since I won’t take my car out until 2010 at the earliest? Hint: I’m back to work on my Car Novel which just happens to be all about car club drama. Refresher course? Hmm, could be. You may experience light blogging here throughout the summer due to novel writing.

Official Neighborhood Renters icon.

7. I threw a hissy fit over the renter’s kids at the renters themselves. Turns out their kids are ‘angels’ and would never tell a lie. Apparently, all those thrown rocks near our backyard windows and the daily barrage of loud foul language coming from the kids’ mouths when we’re sitting quietly on our own front porch are just me and WS’ imagination running wild. WS proceeded to talk to the rental management company and without being able to say too much more due to potential legal action, we were told we are basically SOL because, as adults without kids, we’re overly sensitive to the sounds of children.

8. Renter’s oldest kid has his friends flipping us off at every occasion now. Can’t even drive down the street without getting the bird from some punk.

9. Have discovered allies in both Ms. Howler Monkey and Mrs. Dry Cleaner, both of whom can’t stand the renter’s kids. In coming months, will test the waters on the feelings of others living nearby.

10. Discovered that Ms. Howler Monkey has contacted Mr. Wall Street, owner of the rental house, and complained about his rental family. Unfortunately, the rental management company doesn’t consider this a formal complaint unless they get the call themselves. It’s safe to say Ms. Howler Monkey wasn’t pleased on the least to hear this.

11. Limpy has been harassed, has had rocks thrown at him, kids chase him, and dogs set loose on him over the past week. Thankfully, Ms. Howler Monkey has witnessed nearly all the attacks and has a heightened sense of concern over her cat. It is unfortunate that Ms. Howler Monkey’s own young kids seemed to have lumped me in with the renters when it comes to harassing Limpy and now screams at me to leave his cat alone. (Young dood, if you only knew how many times I have rescued your cat…)

12. Discovered a frog the size of my hand living in our backyard. I’ve named him Zech (like Tech but with a Z).

13. Earlier this week I had an extreme allergic reaction to a foil packet of Albacore tuna; so bad in fact, I took a Benadryl and wrote down what was happening just in case I was incapacitated by the time WS got home from work. I can’t remember a time when my head and heart pounded so hard nor when my face and chest turned so bright, screaming red, which is saying a lot since my face flushes red at the drop of a hat.

14. And finally, have enjoyed the extended early spring weather and not needing to use the air conditioning. But enough is enough for a while. If it’s not too much to ask, we’d like our lone tomato plant to stop whining about how cold it’s been. Don’t go all surface of the sun on us, but a little sunny warmth here and there would be nice.

Thanks for reading.

Link to this entry at:
http://www.blogeois.com/archives/2008.html#05082008

Tag: misc

Slow Snow Leaks and Noise.
20th April 2008

This has been a fun weekend. If it weren’t for the weather that I’m enjoying so much, I might have something to complain about. I don’t, but I’ll tell you about it all anyway.

Snow was forecasted for our area and sure enough, we got some! Got some hail too and ice and a bit of freezing rain. Okay, in all fairness, I’m not terribly happy about buying that flat of spring geraniums or those two tomato plants or half a dozen petunias last week and now needing to keep them in the slightly warmer garage where they are getting all thin and spindly and yellow but if they can hold out just one more week, I think they’ll pull through.

Yesterday morning, we woke to a leaking toilet in the master bedroom. Our flooring can handle water sitting on it up to a point. We’re now changing towels twice a day under the tank where a bolt rusted itself through the bottom. We’re now waiting for Lowe’s to call us next week to deliver and install a new bigger and improved toilet, one that WS has probably been pining over since reaching maturity. Normal sized commodes are barely big enough for normal sized people. WS has never been normal sized. Since we have to replace the thing anyway, my thinking is if he can afford it, why the heck can’t the man have a little comfort when sitting on the pot?

Yesterday I also discovered another reason not to like the renters next door. Oh, I haven’t mentioned much about them, have I? Trust me, that post is coming. Boy, is it ever coming.

Official Neighborhood Renters icon.

I predict a miserable summer for both us and them. I’ll also say a new sound can be heard on our street. No, it isn’t the constant whacking, thudding, crashing sound of the renter’s kids skateboards while their oldest works for hours, day and night, trying to learn how to flip the thing. Nor is it listening to the youngest take a metal-ended bungee cord and beat the living crap out of the property’s trees and shrubs. Nor is it the drums the oldest whacks and crashes every day for an hour between three and four p.m. out of their open garage twelve feet away from our house (‘played’ with extra enthusiasm whenever someone passes on the street).

Nope, it’s the sound of a clock ticking. Tick, tick, tick, the sound of the minutes before I call the rental company and lay into them for 1) being so irresponsible for renting a home in a densely-packed neighborhood to a family with a teenager learning to play the drums, 2) for renting a two vehicle home to a two-driver family with three cars who rents a room out to another driver with two cars and has between them five, sometimes six vehicles jockeying for parking out on the narrow street that was built with the intention of no one ever parking on the street, and perhaps most importantly, 3) renting to a family who’s kid draws crude images on the community mailbox with a permanent black marker and invites over pre-teen boys who scream such endearing things to each other like, “Two, four, six, eight. Let’s go home and masterbate!” and “Suck my boobies!”

I scrubbed the penis off the mailbox yesterday. I did it while it was snowing. Had to use scouring powder.

After finding it thrown up into our yard twice, I finally took the big block of wood the skateboarder uses to jump with and tossed it in the trash. I’ve replaced the large river rocks we use in our landscaping twice, from their driveway. I’ve pulled the blooming weeds from their ignored, dead side yard (even though they have weekly lawn service that should be doing this) in hopes of preventing our yard from bursting out in mass dandelions. We’ve listened to hours of loud drum playing and noticed the kid only plays them when trying to impress his friends or anyone passing by, or when he spies one of his parents turning onto the street, returning home from work. We’re on to his little game.